Thursday, August 24, 2006
Family closeness
One time when Hollie and I were talking in the living room, we heard some bad screaming and crying coming from the bedroom where the girls were. I peeked in the room and saw punching and hair-pulling.
"What's going on in there?" I asked.
"Nellie/Kali hit/pinched me!" Nellie and/or Kali said.
"Why are you doing that to each other?" I continued.
"We miss our friends and we're sick of each other!" Kali said through her tears.
This episode made me realize how much I take language for granted. The girls are very sociable, and can make friends with folks and play easily. However, they are used to telling stories, either real or imaginary. They like to invent scenarios, or pull them from books or movies. Then they assign roles and play them out. Recently, I've heard them pull the little neighbor boy into their stories.
In Ukrainian or Russian, however, they were cramped. They could communicate all their needs, but they couldn't "express" themselves. They couldn't make jokes, pretend, or even talk about what wasn't right there. So they were stuck with the only kid who could understand all this: their sister; and both were experiencing the frustration of not being able to say everything they want.
Who knows? This may even be where depression starts for adults. Once people can't communicate their imaginations, fantasies, or jokes, they get frustrated. Then they smack the person who actually can understand them. Now psychologists have (re?)learned that music and art therapy help people with mental illnesses. Maybe we should all try to express ourselves.
Or maybe we should call up our friend before we punch our sister.
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Glad to know it's not just my kids! You know, dad used to tie our pigtails together when we'd fight......hmmmm.....
Oh, if only someone had given my parents this insight years ago...Kylee and I may have had many fewer blow-outs!
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